Severus Marvolo Riddle...Er...Snape
by JEssICAZ
Summary: This is in response to Sorceress_Forever's challenge. It involves a baby from an unlikely couple.


Severus Marvolo Riddle …Er… Snape

By: Jessicaz

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A/N: OK! This is my first challenge fic. The challenge, issued by Sorceress_Forever, had to include the following:

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  * _Hermione and Draco get into an argument, resulting in Draco being turned into a frog_
  * _Somebody has to say, "Behold the power of cheese!"_
  * _It has to be funny_
  * _Dumbledore wears a tube top_
  * _Snape and Trelawney go out on a date_
  * _Voldemort has to join S.P.E.W._
  * _Quidditch has to be involved somehow_

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_Well, I don't want to make LONG author notes, so you can read the fic now!_

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Hermione started to read the headline in _The Daily Prophet_, when she almost fainted. "Harry! Ron!"

"WHAT!?!?" replied the two best friends in unison, utterly surprised, as Hermione only said their names like that one two occasions: Either she had some really astounding news, or she was terribly scared.

"Read this." Hermione handed the issue over as the boys read, "You-Know-Who Wins Quidditch _and_ Joins Student Organization!!!"

Harry spit out his milk, while Ron laughed so hard that milk squirted out of his nose. "What? He did what? Oh, that's just hilarious!!!" Ron exclaimed to Hermione. She turned a deep shade of pink.

"Actually, Ron, er…" Hermione said, turning even pinker, "He-He joined S.P.E.W.!"

It was Harry's turn to have milk run out of his nose. "Hermione! Are you SERIOUS?? He wants to kill me, and you let him join???"

"Well, actually, er, I didn't know it was him. He, kind of just, sent me an owl stating that he wanted to join, included two sickles, and signed it as anonymous. I thought it was o-okay, I just thought that, well, someone actually _wanted_ to join S.P.E.W.!" Hermione was close to tears by now.

"Hey, mudblood! What's the matter?" came a drawling voice that the trio knew none too well.

"Get out of here Malfoy!" Ron spat.

"Oh, Weasley, Potter, what happened? Got a runny nose?" Of course, they had a line of milk drops all the way down their fronts.

"That's it! That's it!!" Hermione was really mad by now. First she let the Dark Lord join her organization, and now, Malfoy was up to no good. "Contalis!"

With the leg-lock curse on him, Harry asked, "Hermione? What _did_ you do?" He had just noticed that Malfoy was hopping back to the Slytherin table – as a frog.

"Well, it's an advanced spell. It conjures all of the known spells, except for the Unforgivables, and puts them on everyone in the room, except for the conjurer. It lasts for five minutes for the good people, but five days for the evil."

"Where am I? What is going on here? Why am I wearing these stupid clothes? Why is there milk all down my front? Ewww! A girl!" Ron had obviously been given the forgetfulness potion.

Harry was dumbfounded. "Where did you learn that? Oh! Hermione! Snape! What happened to him? I hope he is a frog for the next five days. What a potions class that'd be!"

Hermione couldn't bear to look at Harry. What would he think? "Well, actually, Snape is himself. So is Trelawny." In a mumble she added, "Why won't you quit that dumb class anyway?"

"Well," Harry thought for a moment. He didn't really know why he even stayed in Divination. "I don't know why we do it. I guess it's just fun to goof off for one class a week." There was a sudden silence in his voice. "What do you _mean?_ Snape and Trelawny _aren't_ here???"

"They are on a date," said a voice that Harry loved to hear, happy. It was Albus Dumbledore, but he was addressing the whole school. The Great Hall had been quiet for quite a while, listening to the two argue. "Professors Snape and Trelawny are on a date. They asked for me to tell you that, to the dismay of many students, they will not be teaching from now on. Some of you may remember Professor Lupin. He will be taking over Professor Snape's class and Professor Black will be teaching Divination." There was a murmur throughout the hall.

"Hermione! Did you _see_ what Dumbledore's _wearing?_" The spell had worn off of Ron, and he now was interested in listening to Dumbledore, who just happened to be wearing a florescent pink tube top, complete with hot pink sequins.

"Forget that Ron! Listen!" Harry wanted to make sure Dumbledore had said "Black."

"Yes, yes. Sirius Black will be teaching here. He was found not guilty exactly," the headmaster took a peek at one of his many watches. "Thirty two seconds ago. Now, everything will be fine. Don't worry! Now, you all are going to be late for class. Get a move on!"

~~~~~

A little away, in Hogsmeade…

"Oh, darling! Behold the power of cheese!" Sybil Trelawny replied to Severus Snape. 

"Yes, my dear, cheese _is_ the key to a nice healthy wizard."

"What will we name him?"

"What a silly question, Sybil! It will be Severus Marvolo Snape!"

# **The End**

A/N: Well, a first try at a challenge fic. I know parts were bad, but I think overall, it was funny. Tell me what you think, but I prefer constructive criticism to flames!

~~~~~Jessicaz J


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